19. ART APPRECIATION.

I’m having a difficult experience.  Right now.

My friend is suffering.  I’m watching him shrink in size before my eyes.  I hear him gasp for breath, see him wince.  Cancer-ridden bones don’t disintegrate quietly or gracefully.  There’s oxygen, patches, pills, walkers, hospital gowns, and those thick yellow socks with the traction blobs.  The guy across the hall won’t shut up. Even the brightly colored bracelets are shouting warnings and risks. 

This is all bad, right? 

Nope.

Seriously?

Seriously. This is really, really bad. It’s devastating, and sad, and frustrating, and gut-wrenching.  I’m feeling so many difficult emotions and they don’t begin to compare to what my friend is experiencing. 

Still, nothing is all bad.

Advantage Extractor 5:  Who or what do you appreciate more deeply because of this experience?

First off, I appreciate my friend more deeply, but I bet you already guessed that.  You don’t come here for the easy stuff, but I still want you to know:  I appreciate his wit, his passion for music, and his willingness to have strong opinions (even when I don’t agree with them).  He’s a man who knows where he stands even when he can’t.  He asks great questions.  He’s incredibly bright.  In the fourteen years I’ve known him, I’ve learned a lot from him.  I know he appreciates me more deeply, too and it’s not just because his laundry is in my dryer right now. 

This experience doesn’t just help me really see and deeply appreciate my friend.  I have a deeper appreciation for my twelve year-old son, too. 

An avid comic book superhero fan, Jason will spend hours (days, even) drawing elaborate scenes featuring his favorite heroes. He’s really good at it.  Not just, “gee, we should put this on the fridge” kind of good—I’m talking, total strangers go, “oh wow!” kind of good.

I told Jason my friend loves comic books, too.  “Cool,” he said.  “What’s his favorite?”  I exchanged texts with my friend and shared what I learned with Jason. 

“I want to help him feel better, mom,” he said.  And then he disappeared.

That boy got to work immediately creating drawing after drawing to give to my friend and he’s still going.  The artwork is a big hit, bringing sincere joy in a time of great pain.  My friend wrote, “it genuinely makes me feel better, I kid you not.  He made my year by showing a love for these characters and comic art.”

I will forever cherish watching my son receive this praise and feel proud and purpose-filled. My son feels drawn toward helping others and he’s using his talents and passion to do it.  How cool is that?!

Do me a favor. Pause in your moment of very real pain to really see those around you. Consider how much more deeply you appreciate them because of this experience.

In addition to deeper appreciation for my son, I’m feeling really grateful for the two women who are also stepping up to provide our friend the best care we can and my husband who never once questions or complains about the time or energy I’m devoting. I appreciate my friend, Ellen who took my call and knew the perfect words to say when I hit a breaking point and just needed to cry.

So, what about you? Who or what do you appreciate more deeply because of your difficult experience? 

Your answer is your advantage.