17. EXTRACTION.

Extraction.  The word likely conjures images of clogged pores and aggressive zit popping.  Or painful tooth removal.  Maybe harvesting root vegetables? At best, you think of a daring rescue from behind enemy lines—where “extra” meets “action.” Extraction probably isn’t the first word to come to mind when I say, “advantages,” but because it’s my mission to go digging for advantages in uncomfortable, painful places; it’s the perfect word.

So let’s dig in (in all the best possible ways).

When life is hard—I mean really hard—it’s difficult to see the remarkable ways we benefit from experiencing struggle, adversity, and straight-up misfortune.  When we’re going through those difficult times, it’s hard to remember that we’re also (and ALWAYS) benefitting, too.  To help spot those benefits, I’ve developed a handy list of 21 Advantage Extractors. These questions prompt reflection on your experiences to help you identify where and how you’re becoming even more awesome with every terrible thing that happens to you.

If I were taking your money, I’d offer you a money back guarantee.  That’s how sure I am that these Extractors work.  In the coming weeks and months, I’ll share all of my extractors with you.  So think of something super terrible and I bet you’ll extract several advantages all on your own with these prompts.  But if you need me—I’m here.

Advantage Extractor 1:  “How am I a better ____________ because of this experience?”

Reflecting on your challenging experience, consider how you are a better leader/ partner/ spouse/ parent/ teacher/ friend, etc.  How are you better (or how will you be better) at what you do or who you are because of this difficult time?  Each and every one of those improvements is an advantage to extract.

I’m a better parent because of the times I said the wrong thing or lost my patience.

I’m a better leader because of the staff members I managed poorly.

I’m a better delegator because I took on too much and burned out and also because of the times when I’m let down by others who can’t complete a task on time.

I’m a better listener because of the times I didn’t listen well at all and because of the times when I feel like I’m not being heard.

I’m a better, more caring friend because I have experienced the deep pain of losing loved-ones.

It doesn’t just work for past painful experiences.  You can use this prompt to tackle challenges you’re facing right now.

How are you better because of this experience?  

Stay tuned for more extractors!

Rachel