22. YOU’RE INVITED.

She was obviously crying.

Hands haphazardly wiping tears away, her head angled down, nose running.

As I walked past her car with my full shopping cart, I noticed she was talking to someone. Maybe to herself. Maybe she got really bad news. Maybe she hit the proverbial wall and just couldn’t take any more. Maybe she hit an actual wall. Maybe she is a Bengal’s fan (they had a rough game yesterday).

I loaded my groceries in the back of my Volvo and glanced over a couple of times. Still crying.

As I walked my cart back, I saw two other shoppers looking in the girl’s direction. I could see her pain register on their faces just before they looked away. Kept walking. Not their problem, none of their business.

Something you should know about me: when I see pain, I don’t look away. It’s kind of hard-wired.

As I passed the front of her car, I simply waved, made eye contact, and mouthed, “are you okay?” forming the symbol with my hand.

Quick smile, head nodding, she mouthed back, “yes, I’m okay. Thank you.” I put my hand over my heart and nodded back. I’m with you.

That was it. No heroic effort, no embarrassment. Just a simple human-to-human connection.

One of the advantages of sadness is that it signals to others a need for care, connection, and warmth—often when we can’t or aren’t comfortable asking for it directly. When we express sadness, we invite care.

Human beings are social animals. We are meant to relate and connect in community with each other. But pain is messy and complicated, and so often we choose to look away instead.

Here’s my ask:

When you see someone in pain, accept the invitation to show care. You don’t need to fix it. You don’t even need to understand it. Just notice and express genuine care.

These are hard times, and we need connection and warmth. Our difficult emotions and experiences can bring us together in deeper connection with our neighbors.

If we accept the invitation.

Don’t look away. Let’s grow!

Rachel