02. WHAT IS AN ADVANTAGEIST?
An Advantageist is one who sees the advantages in all situations, even (and especially) in really difficult, challenging situations. You know, the situations that feel like they’re all bad.
I didn’t realize I was an Advantageist until several years ago. I was attending a professional development workshop at a conference. I can’t remember the speaker or even the topic, but I remember being asked to write a list of regrets. Things I wish I had done differently, choices that I would make differently now if I could go back and do it again. I remember pausing—eyebrows furrowed (those who know me well call this my thinking face). Hmmm. Let’s see. Something I regret. Others around me were busily scribing their regrets out like a shopping list. Pens danced on conference center notepads all around me. It seemed like everyone had a top of mind list. And there I was—stumped.
My challenge wasn’t in recalling mistakes I’ve made over the years. There are plenty. It’s not difficult for me to think of dozens of choices and actions that caused me or others pain—everything from staying in a relationship too long, to eating brussels sprouts before yoga. I’m an incredibly flawed human and there’s lots of supporting evidence of that.
My challenge was thinking of something that I would undo—that I would take back if I could. Because here’s the thing: absolutely every poor decision I’ve made, every unkind word I’ve said, and every mishap I’ve gotten myself into have in one way or another led to something really wonderful. Okay, the brussels sprouts before yoga didn’t lead to something really wonderful—but lesson learned. And THAT is really wonderful.
Nope—I’m not advocating for treating people unkindly or hurting yourself or others. I AM advocating for seeing the good that is also there, right next to the pain.
That day in that hotel conference room, something clicked. I noticed two things I hadn’t before:
I attach meaning, value and purpose to every tough experience and emotion I’ve had. I see the advantages in all difficult circumstances. Yes, all of them.
Most people don’t.
What I didn’t have figured out then, but have since learned, is HOW. How am I able to see the good in otherwise bad things when others cannot? The simple answer is—I actively LOOK for the advantages. Boom. ADVANTAGEIST. That’s me. It can be you, too. Stick with me and I’ll show you how.
