03. WE SEE WHAT WE SEEK
I’m a big believer that we see what we seek. Our brains take in millions of pieces of information every minute and selectively focus on information that supports our thinking—what we seek. We’re always looking for proof to reinforce what we already believe to be true.
Think your boss is a jerk? All day long your brain will help serve up evidence. “See! She did it again. Jerk.”
Have your eye on a super cool grey SUV and suddenly see your dream machine in the same make and model EVERYWHERE you go? You’re seeing what you seek.
Here’s another example. Let’s say you’re visiting an animal shelter and you believe animal shelters are sad. You’ll find lots of reasons to cry. Bring a box—no, make that a case of tissues and you can sob for hours. [Cue the very sad puppy faces and the song about angel arms.] You know the drill: This cat was abandoned. That dog was abused. This rabbit is sick. So many pets are homeless. There are mean people in the world torturing animals.
All these heartbreaking facts are true and the sadness, frustration and anger we feel when exposed to them is valid.
If instead you believe a visit to an animal shelter is uplifting, you’d see that same cat is being lovingly petted by a caring volunteer. The dog’s wounds are healing. The rabbit is getting well because of an advanced and compassionate veterinary team. The place is crawling with kind-hearted, baby-talking do-gooders showering pets with affection. [“Who’s the best girl?! You are!” Belly rub. Belly rub. Butt scratch.] And all of this is possible because generous donors made contributions.
These uplifting facts are also true and the feelings of joy, gratitude and inspiration we feel when exposed to them is also valid.
It’s the very same thing, seen two very different and equally true ways. That, my friends, is perspective.
So, if you have the choice (and you DO!), why not expand your perspective to see both the disadvantages AND the advantages? That’s the Advantageist way. Next time you find everything around you looks sad, scary or disappointing, ask yourself, “what proof am I seeking right now? What else could I seek?”
Let’s look for the advantages and see what we find. Maybe your boss really is just a jerk, or maybe you’ve got an ally working hard to help you be successful, learn, and grow into the best version of yourself. Take another look and see if you can find proof.
Are you up for the challenge? See if you can spot:
patience within your kiddos.
respect from your coworkers.
kindness from strangers.
beauty in your everyday surroundings.
insight from an opponent or adversary.
We see what we seek.
Seek the good stuff. Seek the advantages, my friends.
—Rachel
