08. AN UNHEALTHY HOLIDAY
Often when I’m giving a keynote about the advantages of going through difficult things, an audience member will say something like, “yeah, but hindsight is 20/20. It’s easier to see the good that comes from an unpleasant experience when you’re on the other side of it.”
To which I say, “Duh.”
(But not out loud, of course).
The human brain learns and adapts. We draw conclusions from our experiences and yes, it’s much easier to extract the value when you’ve already recognized some of the benefits. But friends, it’s very possible to extract the advantages of your miserable situation in real time WHILE you are going through the yuck!
Allow me to demonstrate. It’s only fair.
Presenting…Holiday COVID—The Finney Family Edition.
It’s Thursday evening and I return home after a long day of work. My son is sniffling in that gross, “will you PLEASE get a tissue!” sort of a way. It’s December 2021, so naturally I panic that he’s contracted the dreaded COVID-19. Because we’re diligent, well-prepared people (sometimes), I whip out an at-home rapid test. Swab, swab, swab. Drip, drip, drip. Swish. Wait. Oh FLUFF! Positive. Then we repeated the steps for every family member. All positive. Boo.
You surely know the disadvantages. Family-wide illness. Fatigue. Loss of smell and taste. Quarantine for the holidays. Missed days of work and school. No holiday celebration with visiting family. Constant worry, wondering if I’ve spread the virus. The hassle of securing groceries and other needed supplies like the last minute gifts. YUCK. I’m living it right now, folks and it is not awesome. I mean, I can’t even smell or taste the cookies I baked. The horror!
So, what’s an Advantageist to do? Here’s how I’m using the Advantageist model to process this difficult experience in real time. Remember, we see what we seek, so I use this model to seek the advantages.
The Pain: We’re all positive for COVID
The Name: Disappointment, loss, frustration, fatigue, worry
The Reframe: Wait a second…this is a great opportunity!
The Gain: A reminder that the holidays are all about spending time with those you love. I just got a whopping, uninterrupted serving of Finney family togetherness with a side of puzzles, gingerbread trains, and nonstop pajamas.
Here are some of the advantages I’ve spotted:
I have a deeper appreciation for holiday smells and flavors. I’m already excited for next year!
I haven’t been at home for a week during the holidays for 20 years! Animal shelters operate 365 days a year, so I split my time at work and at home over the holidays.
We’re not hustling and bustling. It’s been a goal of mine for several years now to become a human being rather than a human doing. This experience is getting me closer every day.
Happy, whole, and HEALTHY holidays, friends! Be sure to seek the fortunes in your misfortunes and unwrap the awesome. What looks like coal may just be the fuel you need to thrive.
Joyfully,
Rachel
